Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Song in my Heart

Life has been full lately.  Is it ever not?  Death and major surgery, birthdays and VBS ...  from the significant to the mundane, never a moment is dull.  Sometimes a dull moment would be nice, wouldn't it?  And yet, in the fullness, God provides ample opportunity to see His hand at work, the gifts He's scattered in my days.

Last night's adventure, in the midst of birthday festivities, was getting slammed out of the blue with a stomach bug.  As I lay miserable throughout the night, I continuously asked God why He allowed this now.  Never really did get an answer.  But, as seems to be His mode of speaking to me lately, He gave me a song.  Started with just the chorus "for you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me..."  It ran through my head a few times before I realized the rest of the song.  Timely, wouldn't you agree?  And finally something to be grateful for.  I had been struggling to find something in those ill hours!

He's given me more to add to my growing gratefulness list today -- parents who willingly came down to help, a husband who pitched in to play both our roles, rubs on my shoulder with "mom I hope you feel better" wishes, God watering my flowers with a rain shower so we didn't need to worry about watering today.

I pulled out my journal to number them with pen when I realized a new song was playing through my head.  We sang it in church last Sunday and the lyrics resonated.

Ten Thousand Reasons
Mark Redman

The sun comes up
It's a new day dawning
It's time to sing your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

It's easy to number God's gifts when life's sun is shining and the birds are singing.  That grateful heart doesn't come so readily when the skies are dark and we are travel-weary.  Yet my soul's desire is, like in the song, to be singing no matter what lies before me.

In his biography on Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Eric Metaxes quotes the hymn Paula Bonhoeffer, Dietrich's mother, chose for her son Walter's funeral.  Though greatly suffering from the grief of losing a child, Metaxes notes that she took the sentiments of the hymn seriously.  May I, in the darkest storm, be able to sing, from my heart, such lyrics as well.

What God has done, it is well done
His will is always just.
Whatever He will do to me,
In Him I'll ever place my trust.

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