Blue Skies, Gray Skies, and Learning to Trust

I think I live in the wrong place.  While it seems laughably obvious, I had some sort of epiphany this summer.  Allow me to backtrack a bit.  We had an odd summer.  In reality, we had one week, maybe two, of true summer, (true summer consisting of 85+ degree days that begin with the bright sun bursting through the blinds in the morning, and end with deliciously warm nights).  The rest of the summer months more closely resembled really nice spring days --- cool cloudy mornings, sun emerging late afternoon with just enough time left in the day to push the mercury to 74.  Don't get me wrong, I like 74, but 85 energizes my soul and makes me giddy.  Ninety degrees is even better.

My epiphany arrived the first part of August along with the stores' fall/winter lines.  As if on cue, friends and acquaintances began mentioning the fall chill in the air.  Fall chill?  How could we have a fall chill when we never had a summer sweat?  (I struggle to maintain my gracious Christian attitude when people speak excitedly of fall chills.)  It was one weekend when I had an unusual amount of people mention their anticipation of the winter rain that I realized I was not designed to live in the Pacific Northwest.  That rather than all these people being really strange to love rain, maybe I was the strange one for being here.  I realized God created this section of the world for people who actually like gray and wet.  If He put an ounce of such appreciation within me, I have yet to find it.  I appreciate the greenery the rain affords.  I tell myself I wouldn't have the green without the rain, and then I see places like Hawaii that feature both sun and green and figure the two do not have to be mutually exclusive.

For those who have never experienced anything resembling Seasonal Affective Disorder, all my whining may seem like a bunch of hooey.  For those of us who feel like Eeyore when the sky turns gray and quickly resemble Tigger if the sun peaks through, the oppressiveness of nine months of gray skies is overwhelming to say the least.

The epiphany, coupled with my current study of 2 Corinthians, inspired my quest to make peace with my current setting.  Granted, we could pack up the family and move.  That is an option.  And if God says to move someplace tropical, I won't argue.  (Although if I step back and honestly assess the situation, I have to admit it would be incredibly hard for me to leave the support system and friendships I have established here.)  But, I'm increasingly aware that I need to be content where God has placed me.  And that means not whining about gray skies and rain.  That maybe (gasp, shudder, shake my head in denial), just maybe, I can be at peace with gray.  I know God could even get me to the point that I like the wet stuff, but that seems almost like I'd be betraying myself, so my goal at this point is peace. :-)

As I've read about Paul's life - his travels, heartaches, trials, persecutions - his faith and trust in God's sovereign plan for his life has convicted me.  He embraces weakness and rejoices in affliction for it affords him the opportunity to boast in God's strength.  He believes God's strength is perfected in weakness, and he truly sees difficulties as opportunities to watch God work.  I want to be like that.  When I wake up on dark, gray, gloomy mornings and would prefer to return to dreamland under my cozy covers, I instead want to bounce out of bed with thankfulness on my lips and excited anticipation to see God's handiwork in my day.  I want to bloom where God has planted me, focusing on His abundant goodness rather than the color of the sky.  I want to trust that He has put me here for a reason, even if it is "just" for me to become more dependent on Him.

Last night my kids and I watched Disney's Johnny Appleseed.  Do you remember the song?  I sang it in elementary school and Girl Scouts.  It's very simple, but sometimes wisdom resides in the simple.

Oh the Lord is good to me,

And so I thank the Lord,

For giving me the things I need,

The SUN and the RAIN and the appleseed.

The Lord is good to me.

New Blog

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Lessons from a Three-Year Old

I had a revealing conversation with my youngest the other day. Monday night, a summer cold caught up with her, and she wasn't feeling too chipper. I had just read a devotion about responding to illness in children in which the author encouraged parents to pray continuously when their children are sick. With that in mind, every time I delivered juice or medicine or refilled a cheerio bowl, I said a quick prayer over my sick one. At one point on Tuesday, she asked why sometimes God makes us better in one minute and other times He takes lots of days. I did my best to explain sovereignty in toddler-terms and went on with my day, not giving the conversation much more thought. It's interesting to me what God uses to get His point across. 

Wednesday morning, my sweet pea came bouncing into my bathroom. "Mom, I'm feeling better! God decided to heal me. He decided it was a good idea to do it in one day!" The faith revealed in her announcement convicted me. It was evident that whether God chose to heal her after one day or seven, she still believed it was Him doing the healing. I realized that if God doesn't act within the time constraints I've given Him, I figure He's declined my request, that He's washed His hands of the situation and let "nature" take it's course. When I see the previous statement in black and white, I see how absurd and contrary to God's Word it is, and yet, somehow, deep in my subconscious, that's what I was thinking. I think this all relates to what Jesus was referring to when he spoke of child-like faith. My children believe God's Word, accept His love and goodness, and trust Him to answer their prayers without the questions, cynicism, and doubt that can too often jade us grown-ups. Oh to approach my relationship with God with the faith of a child.

Independence Day

The day after congress approved the Declaration of Independence, John Adams wrote a letter to his wife Abigail, predicting that July 4th would be a day of celebration for years to come as "the great anniversary festival." He wrote, "It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty."

It is impossible to read America's history without seeing the hand of Providence guiding, protecting, providing, and laying the foundation for this great nation. As you enjoy the festivities of our nation's birthday, may you, like John Adams, take a moment to reflect, thanking God for our freedom, for His blessing upon us, and praying that we would honor and obey Him as a nation.

The Value of the Delaration

"These communities, by their representatives in old Independence Hall, said to the whole world of men: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among them are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' .... They erected a beacon to guide their children, and their children's children, and the countless myriads who should inhabit the earth in other ages. .... [T]hey established these great self-evident truths that .... their posterity might look up again to the Declaration of Independence and take courage to renew the battle which their father began, so that truth and justice and mercy and all the humane and Christian virtues might not be extinguished from the land .... Now my countrymen, if you have been taught doctrine conflicting with the great landmarks of the Declaration of Independence ... let me entreat you to come back .... [C]ome back to the truths that are in the Declaration of Independence."

~Abraham Lincoln

Memorial Day

I realize this is quite late. Would love to have posted something on Memorial Day itself, but we've been knee deep in germs and all the other "fun" stuff of life.

As I reflect on Memorial Day, I again am thankful for all the brave men and women who have sacrificed their own lives for my freedom. Obviously, my gratitude goes first to all those in my family from the great great greats who fought in the Civil War to my great grandfather in WWI, my grandfathers (all 3 of them!) in WWII, my father-in-law in Vietnam. I am honored and proud to be related to each of them.

Happy Memorial Day!

Embracing Pain

While in the doldrums a few months back, crying and praying and feeling miserable, and then feeling miserable because I was miserable!, God ever so gently told me that I'm too afraid of pain. More specifically, I felt like He asked me to embrace it. Even typing the phrase, I'm struck again by how odd it sounds. Embrace pain? Isn't it natural to shy away from what hurts, whether it's a simple headache or something more serious like a strained relationship? Yet as backwards as it sounded, as soon as I "heard" Him say it, it made sense. He showed me how I had become so pain-averse, I wasn't allowing pain to accomplish its purposes. Whether I was reaching for the Tylenol at the slightest inkling of a headache, obsessing about germs in and on my kids, or shying away from potentially uncomfortable conversations, He made it clear that I needed to be willing to feel, even if it meant hurting.

As I pondered His message and tried to figure out all it entailed, I heard an interview with Kay Arthur in which she said, "Don't run from the pain. Feel it. Allow it to accomplish the purpose God has, in His sovereignty, allowed it for. Then seek to heal so that you are equipped to minister to others." Her comment confirmed what I'd thought I heard Him whisper.

Weeks later, I heard Dennis Rainey say, "Too many Christians think Christianity occurs on a romantic balcony, not a spiritual battlefield." He's right. I think it is so easy in our culture of abundance and ease to forget that this world is not our home. To overlook the fact that Jesus told us to expect trials. To see the example of our Saviour, enduring the horror of the cross, for the glory on the other side.

I would never have chosen those dark, desperate months, and I dread the possibility of going through it again. However, there is something deep within me at peace with the prospect of facing a similar circumstance in the future, only for one reason: the closeness I felt to my Saviour during that time was indescribably sweet. He proved Himself faithful, His promises trustworthy, His love deep, His Sovereignty real. I see the miraculous things God has done since and would not go back for anything. I stand in awe of what He has brought out of such a dark time in my life.

The other day I heard a song by Laura Story that immediately became a new favorite. It beautifully described some of these vague ideas I'd been trying to put into concrete thoughts for months. May it be thought provoking and encouraging for you as well.

Blessings

by Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise